Contradictions

So, first off, let me just say that I <3 Huckabees was a very strange movie. It was confusing and made your brain scattered but I have to admit, very enjoyable. The main idea or question that the characters were focused on was, “Do we live in a world that is meaningful and makes sense”? In this movie, there were two main things that stuck out to me: the blanket concept and the “pure being ball thing”. When Benard says that “everything is the same, even if it is different”, my head starts reeling. In a way, I agree with him and honestly, I’m not too sure why but there’s a more “sane” part of my brain that totally disagrees with this. How can love and hate be the same? How can black and white be the same? Banach has brought me to believe that everyone is different and “no one feels what I feel” so how can it all of a sudden be that simple; that everyone and everything is the same? I don’t know what to believe anymore.
I actually understand the ball thing a little too well. Obviously, I’ve never tried that kind of “therapy” before but I understand the desire to escape for just a second. I can do this on my own semi-well. Of course, I cannot block out everything but I can certainly space out for so long that I forget where I am. It usually happens when I’m reading or I’m listening to music. When I read, someone can be screaming my name right in front of me and I would hear absolutely nothing. I really like getting into my little “safe haven” because there, I can feel no troubles, sorrows or stress. I don’t have to worry about anything. I suppose that Albert and Tommy liked this idea of nothingness a little too much because they actually managed to stop thinking completely, which I’m not to sure is a good thing. It’s good to escape for a little while but eventually you have to get back to reality, which I believe Caterine also said.
It surprised me that while Tommy has this idea of “once you realize the universe sucks, you got nothing left to lose”, he was the one still trying to find the meaning of life. He seemed pretty convinced that life was pointless yet he became happy when he found love with Dawn. Tommy is a contradiction in himself. Based on his beliefs, I would assume that he would have no reason to be happy or try to find the meaning of life but he seemed the most obsessed with it.
As usual, I have got myself stuck with more questions than answers. What’s sad is that I will never find the answers.